Shorty
by KRMariG
Summary: "Did you know that the average height for a man is 5' 9", and the average height of a woman is 5' 4"?" Fralice fluff


**Obligatory Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own Harry Potter. **

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A normal day at Hogwarts usually consisted of Marauder pranks or jokes, Lily and James's constant bickering (when will they get together?), house conflicts, or general all around chaos.

This was not a normal day at Hogwarts.

In fact, it was an unusually peaceful day at Hogwarts, and several seventh year students (and one first year student) circled the fireplace. What they had been talking about for the past hour and a half was truly a mystery to everyone, themselves included. Something about someone's grandpa and a hot dog was mentioned, and somewhere they said something about a magical school in space, but nothing logical or of importance to this story came out of their mouths. However, it was certainly an entertaining conversation, which was why all nine of them were gripping their sides, laughing hysterically. And that, my dear reader, is where this story begins.

"Really? A talking lion?" James finally managed to say over the deafening giggles and snorts in the room. Sirius shrugged a shoulder, grinning wildly. Once the laughter finally died down, the youngest member of the group spoke up.

"Mum says that to stop yourself from laughing after being told something mean or something you don't wanna laugh at, you have to think really boring things." Michael paused. "Transfiguration...transfiguration..."

Alice and Lily laughed and smiled adoringly at the first year's attempts to lead the group to a sane conversation. He had followed Alice around all day, much to Sirius's annoyance and Frank's amusement, and confessed to Lily that he had a crush on Alice. The two girls adored the little boy and found themselves smiling when he joined them sitting with their friends that Saturday morning.

"You know what else is boring, Mikey?" Frank said. "History of Magic."

Michael laughed and nodded in agreement.

"Ah, but see, you've got him laughing again." James clicked his tongue. "See, what you've gotta do is get Remus to start going off about one of those _interesting_ things he was reading about earlier."

"They are interesting, you prat!" He shoved him, although you could tell there was no force behind it.

"Yeah? Prove it, we'll have Newbie decide if it's interesting or not." Sirius nodded towards Michael. Remus hesitated, and Sirius grinned. "Unless you're afraid of being called boring..."

"I was thinking! I was thinking..."

"Sure you were..." Padfoot rolled his eyes.

"Oh! I got it! Did you know that women blink twice as much as men do?"

"Mikey?" The first year pretended to be asleep, snoring.

"Ouch. Harsh. Two more shots?" Remus raised his eyebrows. "Okay?" Michael nodded, grinning. "Originally vacuums, a Muggle cleaning device, didn't sell well because consumers were insulted their carpets could be dirty."

While James, Alice, and Peter looked interesting in this, Michael laughed.

"I know what a vacuum is!"

"I still have one more chance! Alright...er... Did you know that the average height for a man is 5' 9", and the average height of a woman is 5' 4"?"

Just as Michael was about to open his mouth, Frank grinned and nudged Alice.

"Shorty." Her jaw dropped.

"I am _not_ short!"

"Are you 5' 4" or taller?"

"No, but that doesn't me-"

"Shorty."

"Sweetheart, I'm 5'3", if that qualifies as short, the-"

"Remus, the living textbook, just said you were shorter than the average woman." Alice narrowed her eyes at Remus.

"You _had_ to choose that fact?" He bit his lip and shrugged a shoulder.

"This isn't boring, though. It got you gu-"

"Frank! It's not that funny! Lily, back me up!" Lily just laughed at her friend, and shook her head.

"I'm sorry Al, but you've been saying he's too tall for months. I'm gonna let him have this one." Frank beamed and Michael hugged Alice's arm.

"Well, I think she's perfect." The older students laughed, but Frank shook his head.

"No, no. Guys, he's right. She's perfect." He paused, reaching in his pocket for something and the room grew silent. "Hey Alice? Let's get married."

"...What?" Alice blinked. Frank blushed.

"I mean, this isn't exactly how I planned it, but, I figured if I didn't do it when I had the nerve I would never get to it, and it just seemed like a good moment, and I'm really sorry if this is too soon. You know, maybe I shouldn't have asked, we're only eighteen right now, and there's a war going on and everything, I just thou-" He was cut off by Alice's lips meeting his.

"Yes."

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**Author's Note: **Dedicated to Mommypuppy and the man who sang to me in Washington. Flames are welcome (Olivia, you promised...) And I hope you Starkids can find the reference. And I hope my friends can spot the inside joke.

Oh, by the way, this one time, my grandpa was eating...hahahaha...eating a hot dog, and he...bahahaha, he put ketchup on it...and... HAHAHAHA.

I hope you liked it! Review please. Or not. It's your choice. I'm not in charge of you.


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